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Good leadership in a business starts by marketing the future internally because it's a way of inspiring confidence. That's how good leadership filters down. However, marketing has a tradition of falsehood. It has had some sort of licence to bend, adjust and exaggerate the truth. This is no more the case, and transparency in marketing both at a product and leadership level is essential.
So, people really deserve to know the facts. Can you do the job or are you the person who once could do the job but has stayed stuck while the job has outgrown you. Are you holding people back in order to cope with stress or are you looking for more responsibility, and learning how to deal with the stress? If you are taking your foot off the stress pedal because you can't cope with the pressure, then it's time to get out of the kitchen and let someone else do the job.
Expanding as an individual and a leader requires an amazing set of personal skills.
1/ You need to be unflappable.... people smell emotional desperation and over compensation
2/ You need to be in a hierarchy that has greater certainty than you about the future (trustable)
3/ You need to know how to market the future because people hang onto the past until they are confident in the leaders capacity to carry them safely forward. (resistance and team conflict)
Personal Skill of a leader .. Turning up - Unflappable
Personal strength is an illusive animal for most people because they place their faith in things outside themselves for it. That in turn produces extreme dependency and insecurity.
Now, we all know that winning the lotto would make us happy and self confident but a recent survey done 12 months after people won the lotto determined that the 90% of the people who won were less happy and less self confident after they won.
We attach our self confidence to many external factors and this makes us unpredictable and unreliable. External things are essential things, but they are never permanent. All things in the world of material are impermanent, including human values.
So, to grow as an inspirational leader you'll need these personal skills.
1/ Learn how to master emotion - Inner Strength
2/ Learn how to adapt to change - Shape Shift
3/ Spread your experiences (7 areas of life) 3 principles...(not all eggs in one basket.
4/ Don't fake it - being authentic from desperation to inspiration
5/ Practice between performances - certainty based on fact. Can I really do it?
6/ Understand the human condition
7/ Hierarchy - understand leadership in the bigger story...
1. Learning how to master more emotion - Inner Strength
There are two sides to everything. Emotion sees one. The more emotional one is, the more one sided they are seeing things. Highly emotional people see things polarised. This is the terrorist in the world, and the home or office.
The terrorist is a fundamentalist. They fight nature. They want to see half stories. Like, "she's perfect" or "he's terrible." Fundamentalism is emotionalism.
Now the human condition is emotional. So one must not become convinced, like my Buddhist friend, that one monotone experience is the best one. We are emotional beings and this is very important to our health, but, acting on emotion is very dangerous. It is like an actor on stage, if the right emotion is happiness, then they need to choose that experience authentically otherwise we say, "yuk, that person is a bad actor. In life, some people can't be trusted because they fake their emotions.
The skill therefore, rather than preventing emotion, is to accept it, label it honestly, then let it go or transform it into the more inspirational state of mind. It's not fake...
For the shortest understanding of this emotional shifting process just ask yourself "what's the other side to this? If you already see the good, find the negative. If you already see the bad, find the positive. This process automatically cancels emotional reaction. Saves energy.
Then, choose your state of mind based on your vision. Re inspire yourself...
2. Adapting to change - Shape shift. Mastering change is the leaders deepest and most powerful skill. The key here is to understand that nothing is permanent. Everything changes. Life, careers and relationships function best at the border of chaos and order. So, change is permanent.
We all acknowledge that contingency plans are the mark of great leadership. Options. The best leader is the one who can implement plan b, fastest. In the real world, plan a succeeds sometimes, but, most often we're asked to adapt our plans to changing circumstance. This is not capitulation. Rather it means sustaining a fixed objective with a different process.
This is the trilogy of FIT. Strategy, structure, culture. Or at home, dreams, assets and ideas. Adaptation is a means of deciding which of the three is the anchor point and adjusting the others accordingly.
In the time between the realisation that adaptation is required, and adaptation of plans, there can be a mere nano second or a month. In that time, that precious time of contemplation of your choices, we remove emotion, don't react and then weigh the options. I call this, coming home to neutral.
In order to be confident in the choices we make in adaptation, one must have a neutral space to come back to. In other words between plan a and plan b there's neutral. Just like driving a car changing from forward to reverse there's a need for find neutral. Stop a moment, then adjust.
More often than not, these adaptations are automatic. Like climbing a cliff face, if the hand hold is not strong, we look around for a better one nearby. It's small adjustments that keep us on track. However, sometimes the resistance is huge and we need to go around the overhanging rock. So, we need to stop and re-engineer the plan.
The reason people can't come to this place of neutral is because they panic or react. Like a trigger goes off and they are afraid of the silence. This happens because we lose flexibility - we get too attached to the forms.
As children we adapt but the more intellect we invest then the more obsessed we become in being right. Until we become insecure as children, and start to try to please people, we are not totally attached to form, we develop attachment, becoming fixed, resistant and rigid because we fear. As leaders, fear is not a good motive.
So, what is a better option than attachment to form?
Nothing. Yes, that is the answer. Nothing.
Learning to be self confident based on emptiness. Let me explain. Every thought is a thing and is therefore impermanent. Every belief and value can be disturbed and argued about. They are important, but we are trying to get to a deeper place of unflappable confidence here.
Stillness is a powerful place. It is transportable, does not require acceptance, never changes and can, like a movie director sit behind the screen ready to support you. So, the world might come unstuck, but you are there, present, in the moment, ready.
Neutral is empty. How quickly can you find neutral? What process do you have with you that can help you find neutral at will?
When the pressure is on, and you need to act fast but mindfully, this skill is vital.
3/ Spread your experiences (7 areas of life) 3 principles...(not all eggs in one basket.
There are many dead climbers in Nepal. Some met unfortunate accidents, some took extraordinary risks. Good judgement in Nepal Himalayas is such a precious gift. Experience is not a good teacher in Nepal, most people die gaining the experience that could have saved their life.
Bad judgement comes when we throw ourselves at something without moderation. We teach trekkers, "never give 100%, keep something back."
The most desperate people are those whose personal life has gone to hell and they throw everything into a climb, a job, a relationship, a philosophy or something like that.
This is the trigger for massive mistakes, suspicious teamwork and broken trust. It is also the cause of massive depression. Within the next 2 years one in four of your team is going to be, or already is, medicated for depression.
There are three things that make a good life.
a/ Someone to love
b/ something to do
c/ something to look forward to.
When these are absent 4 substitutes kick in:
1/ Food (substance)
2/ Greed
3/ Sexuality
4/ Spirituality
The trouble with these four substitutes is that they cover up the underlying problems and lead to obsessive or addictive behaviour. They blind people and lead to naivety in decision making.
4/ Don't fake it - being authentic move desperation to inspiration People challenge your leadership because for every circumstance there's a hierarchy of ways to see it. The lowest is highly emotive (fear and guilt) and the highest is with detachment (my Buddhist friend).
So, as a leader, entrepreneur, artist, musician, parent, guide, consultant, boss, friend ... challenged because we are being tested... Do you really have more certainty than those you lead.
The lowest reaction is a highly uncertain one. So, those people create extreme physical and righteous moral stands.
Back in the old days, fake it till you make it was the code of honour of all great leaders. In Nepal, I still see this autocratic leadership style amongst some East European and Military teams. But for the rest, especially Japan, Korea, US and Canada, the person with the greatest certainty leads.
This clarity is real. It is based on real knowledge, real experience, real training, real capacity to handle uncertainty.
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